I suppose after some 17 years here in Vietnam I should be able to reach a point where I can say that I have pretty much had every exotic meal and creature to be had in this small, yet diverse country. Everytime I get thoughts like that I am "invited" to enjoy some other poor creature that was caught and slaughtered for my dining pleasure. In my days here I have had bull penis soup, bat, field rat, rooster balls, pig uterus, porcupine, anteater, snake, and any untold number of other small reptiles and mammals long since forgotten.
Just the other day, however, in the mountains of Gia Lai Province, I was given the opportunity to have mountain goat balls and goat's blood rice wine. Both of these were new to me, and neither were dishes I will be asking for again in the near future. The soup in which the goat balls were cooked was actually pretty tasty with medicinal herbs, but the balls were just too tough. I was pulling double duty of eating and interpreting at the same time and actually hade to push my index finger down my throat to clear an errant ball portion that could have killed me. If it had, the story may have started fairly accurate, but no doubt the shortening and retelling would have led to an obituary that read something like, "Navy civilian in Vietnam dies after choking on goat balls."
Rice wine, also known as Cuoc Lui, is a clear nasty brew not much unlike the moonshine of yore in the U.S. The goat's blood must have been quite a treat to most of the guys we were eating with, but for me it was just something to get a picture of while going through the motions of putting it down. What I didn't figure into the equation was there was no going back to the clear stuff after opting into the blood wine. The first shot wasn't that bad and was relatively "watered" down in the wine, but the second and third shots were pretty frothy. In my mind's eye I could see the host of parasites swimming around in the goat's blood as I swigged it down. Fortunately, I have suffered no ill effects so far, but I can't help but to think I missed a bullet this time.
This lunch was just one of the few I had with our counterparts in the field on a recently completed six day site visit. Our combined efforts in this recovery iteration are going well and I am hopeful for some great success. My hat is off to the teams working so hard in the harsh environment they are in to bring our warriors home.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Bizarro World: The Vietnamese Transportation System
Vietnam is still referred to as a third-world country by some; others may call it a developing nation. My daughter seemed keen to know the distinction and I found myself at a loss to define a United Nations' attempt at political correctness.
But, there is nothing developing about the Vietnamese transportation system... unless you see it as a cancer, growing everyday, eating away at my life force. I personally have been involved in two minor accidents in the past two weeks.
Yes, the rules of the road in Vietnam place us squarely in Bizarro World, or Thrae (Earth spelled backwards). Why? Because here, the larger vehicle has the right of way and the pedestrian sits clearly on the bottom of this heirarchy. The first of my two accidents in the past two weeks is a case in point:
In this real-life example, I am on foot, crossing a small road returning to my house after lunch. There is no cross walk in the area so I look (left, right, and then left again) to make sure the way is relatively clear. I use the word "relatively" because outside of the hours of 0100 to 0500 there will always be some traffic. I have plenty of time to make it out of the oncoming lane before the approaching taxi gets close, but as I start walking, the taxi moves in my direction as if there is an invisible magnet on my belt pulling it to me. Some fighter pilots may refer to this as target fixation when on a bombing run. I continue to walk to where I am actually in the paved shoulder of the opposite lane by the time the taxi gets to me, but he still wants to pass in front of me, rather than behind. I thought about speeding up to where I was square with the middle of the taxi's hood, but decided better of that and opted to let the taxi hit my hand on the side view mirror. When the mirror folded in, the driver stopped and acted as if I was in the wrong and sported a very angry face. In my best Vietnamese, I invited him out of the car so we could call the police to resolve the issue, but he opted to remain in the car and explain to Diep, who was right behind me, how he had turned on his signal. Diep was having nothing of his flimsy excuse, so now the taxi driver has two angry people at his window (Diep, of course, was the scarier of the two). He continued to yell at us in the vehicle and I continued to invite him to step out; and it appeared we were at loggerheads for the time being. All of a sudden, I thought it was appropriate to hold my hand and say "ôi, chắc tôi gãy tay tôi rồi!" (Ow, I broke my hand!) which seemed to immediately resolve the issue. The driver proceeded to drive away, but you could see his reluctance in doing so since I had already recited his taxi number back to him.
The point of the above example is that the driver of a motorized vehicle - any motorized vehicle - always has the right of way when confronted with a pedestrian. This is, of course, in sharp contrast to California law where one can slide a toe into the crosswalk and watch cars come to a sliding stop. There was some government interest about two or three years ago in fining pedestrians who crossed the road outside of designated cross walks for jaywalking. Several articles were posted in local-language papers promoting the use of crosswalks and enacting a fine when pedestrians crossed outside of them. It obviously didn't catch on, but it really annoyed me that the onus was placed on the pedestrians when (1) many roads in the city don't have a crosswalk within 1,000 meters of the intersection (see my real life example above), and (2) pedestrians still in reality have to yield to motorized vehicles even when crossing in the crosswalk. Heaven help the assclown who runs me over in a crosswalk. I just know I better be dead or unconscious if it happens because I will beat the person to a bloody pulp if I have the wherewithal to do it.
My second incident on a Vietnamese roadway was really a non-accident. I was on a narrow road and an electric bus was coming from the opposite direction. To yeild the right-of-way, I pulled as far over as I could and stopped. The bus (more like a 10-seat electric golf cart) then came through. He cleared me in the front, but then turned into me with the side of the bus. I leaned the bike as far over as I could and yelled for the bus to stop, but he kept going and ended up crushing my pinkie toe (no break, just a little painful - I was wearing sneakers) and bending the gear shifter on the bike. I did make him stop the bus and say he was sorry in front of the 30 or so spectators wondering why the foreigner was going nuts, but didn't know what to do next so I let him go. It wasn't till I got back on the bike that I saw that the shift lever was bent. The repair cost me 10,000 Vietnamese Dong (about fifty cents), but it upset my domestic situation when I got home. Diep was livid that I didn't make the driver pay for the damage to the bike. She is now convinced I am not fit for driving in Vietnam (even though I was not moving on a motorized bike in either situation) and posted the damage to my bike on FB. I was rewarded with everyone and their dog asking me if I was okay. I am just exaggerating about the dog. The concern grew to such a crescendo on Diep's FB page that she eventually had to delete the entry. If Diep ever wondered if people really liked me or not, she knows now. Hah!
But, there is nothing developing about the Vietnamese transportation system... unless you see it as a cancer, growing everyday, eating away at my life force. I personally have been involved in two minor accidents in the past two weeks.
Yes, the rules of the road in Vietnam place us squarely in Bizarro World, or Thrae (Earth spelled backwards). Why? Because here, the larger vehicle has the right of way and the pedestrian sits clearly on the bottom of this heirarchy. The first of my two accidents in the past two weeks is a case in point:
In this real-life example, I am on foot, crossing a small road returning to my house after lunch. There is no cross walk in the area so I look (left, right, and then left again) to make sure the way is relatively clear. I use the word "relatively" because outside of the hours of 0100 to 0500 there will always be some traffic. I have plenty of time to make it out of the oncoming lane before the approaching taxi gets close, but as I start walking, the taxi moves in my direction as if there is an invisible magnet on my belt pulling it to me. Some fighter pilots may refer to this as target fixation when on a bombing run. I continue to walk to where I am actually in the paved shoulder of the opposite lane by the time the taxi gets to me, but he still wants to pass in front of me, rather than behind. I thought about speeding up to where I was square with the middle of the taxi's hood, but decided better of that and opted to let the taxi hit my hand on the side view mirror. When the mirror folded in, the driver stopped and acted as if I was in the wrong and sported a very angry face. In my best Vietnamese, I invited him out of the car so we could call the police to resolve the issue, but he opted to remain in the car and explain to Diep, who was right behind me, how he had turned on his signal. Diep was having nothing of his flimsy excuse, so now the taxi driver has two angry people at his window (Diep, of course, was the scarier of the two). He continued to yell at us in the vehicle and I continued to invite him to step out; and it appeared we were at loggerheads for the time being. All of a sudden, I thought it was appropriate to hold my hand and say "ôi, chắc tôi gãy tay tôi rồi!" (Ow, I broke my hand!) which seemed to immediately resolve the issue. The driver proceeded to drive away, but you could see his reluctance in doing so since I had already recited his taxi number back to him.
The point of the above example is that the driver of a motorized vehicle - any motorized vehicle - always has the right of way when confronted with a pedestrian. This is, of course, in sharp contrast to California law where one can slide a toe into the crosswalk and watch cars come to a sliding stop. There was some government interest about two or three years ago in fining pedestrians who crossed the road outside of designated cross walks for jaywalking. Several articles were posted in local-language papers promoting the use of crosswalks and enacting a fine when pedestrians crossed outside of them. It obviously didn't catch on, but it really annoyed me that the onus was placed on the pedestrians when (1) many roads in the city don't have a crosswalk within 1,000 meters of the intersection (see my real life example above), and (2) pedestrians still in reality have to yield to motorized vehicles even when crossing in the crosswalk. Heaven help the assclown who runs me over in a crosswalk. I just know I better be dead or unconscious if it happens because I will beat the person to a bloody pulp if I have the wherewithal to do it.
My second incident on a Vietnamese roadway was really a non-accident. I was on a narrow road and an electric bus was coming from the opposite direction. To yeild the right-of-way, I pulled as far over as I could and stopped. The bus (more like a 10-seat electric golf cart) then came through. He cleared me in the front, but then turned into me with the side of the bus. I leaned the bike as far over as I could and yelled for the bus to stop, but he kept going and ended up crushing my pinkie toe (no break, just a little painful - I was wearing sneakers) and bending the gear shifter on the bike. I did make him stop the bus and say he was sorry in front of the 30 or so spectators wondering why the foreigner was going nuts, but didn't know what to do next so I let him go. It wasn't till I got back on the bike that I saw that the shift lever was bent. The repair cost me 10,000 Vietnamese Dong (about fifty cents), but it upset my domestic situation when I got home. Diep was livid that I didn't make the driver pay for the damage to the bike. She is now convinced I am not fit for driving in Vietnam (even though I was not moving on a motorized bike in either situation) and posted the damage to my bike on FB. I was rewarded with everyone and their dog asking me if I was okay. I am just exaggerating about the dog. The concern grew to such a crescendo on Diep's FB page that she eventually had to delete the entry. If Diep ever wondered if people really liked me or not, she knows now. Hah!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
New Home in Danang... For now.
Once again, I am back in Danang. I travel to Danang quite a bit because this is the staging point for most of our recovery and investigation activities for most of the year. For the past ten years since I have been a civilian employee in Hanoi, our staff and teams have stayed in the Furama Resort, but with the recent explosion of resort hotels along the former China Beach, a change of venue has been long in the coming. So, this go around we got our reservations at the Hyatt Regency Danang Resort and Spa.
The Hyatt is definitely a step above, and I love the gym and food here. The water this far south from town seems to be much cleaner, too! The down side is we are even farther away from downtown. That means it is cheaper to eat at the hotel than it is to take the $8 one-way taxi ride into town and eat. You can save money by adding people in the taxi and splitting the costs, but in a lone situation, it just makes sense to stay in the hotel.
There are a few of us who already want to go back to the Furama. To each his own I suppose, but the whole reason we are here right now is the Furama didn't have enough rooms for us all. And, I still remember the time we had reservations for our teams and the Furama unilaterally canceled to make room for higher paying guests. That's just bad business practice. It is unlikely the Hyatt will lack rooms for our teams in the foreseeable future. This place is huge!
Anyway, the teams are in country and ready to deploy out in all directions (except East). I am looking forward to a successful field activity! I will be out with the boss checking on team progress at the end of next week.
The Hyatt is definitely a step above, and I love the gym and food here. The water this far south from town seems to be much cleaner, too! The down side is we are even farther away from downtown. That means it is cheaper to eat at the hotel than it is to take the $8 one-way taxi ride into town and eat. You can save money by adding people in the taxi and splitting the costs, but in a lone situation, it just makes sense to stay in the hotel.
There are a few of us who already want to go back to the Furama. To each his own I suppose, but the whole reason we are here right now is the Furama didn't have enough rooms for us all. And, I still remember the time we had reservations for our teams and the Furama unilaterally canceled to make room for higher paying guests. That's just bad business practice. It is unlikely the Hyatt will lack rooms for our teams in the foreseeable future. This place is huge!
Anyway, the teams are in country and ready to deploy out in all directions (except East). I am looking forward to a successful field activity! I will be out with the boss checking on team progress at the end of next week.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Update... Getting Back in Shape
A lot has happened since my last blog entry. Diep ended up going to Saigon with Megan for the lunar new year afterall, but her reasoning was sound. As her mother gets older, there is no telling when the last time Diep will see her, and I didn't want the guilt of having pressured Diep into staying in Hanoi rather than possibly seeing her mother for the last time. What I would give to have a better last time with my mother!!! Anyway, ends up Diep's sister is the one that had the inflamed gall bladder and got hospitalized on the last trip back. What is it about Tet and going to the hospital with her family?!
Today I just finished my sixth week of the basic program in the book "You Are Your Own Gym" by Mark Lauren. This is significant for me for several reasons, the biggest being that I don't think I have stuck to a regimented program like this for this long, ever. Don't get me wrong, I work out all of the time and I have been in pretty good aerobic and anaerobic shape most of my life; though there were those, ahem, embarrassing periods that I "let myself go."
There are many things that I like about this program, and many things that I will take away from it even if I veer from the provided structure. I think the thing I like most about this program is that most of each stage, taken in 10 week blocks and intended for specific fitness abilities, takes less than forty minutes a day, and only four days a week with the exception of weeks seven through 10. Everything is done with a timer so the workout period doesn't deviate and that means no screwing around with watching TV or daydreaming or just plain huffing and puffing instead of working out. Sticking with the program is easy because of this and enables me to do other physical activities like tennis, running or walking without feeling guilty that I am not doing a "real" work out.
A close second in the positives of this book is that I am balancing out my body. I have worked out most of my life, but tend to focus on those things I am good at and consequently like doing, i.e. chest, arms, and running, biking, swimming. The exercises in this program make you work all of your body and that means chest, shoulders, arms, upper back, lower back, core, and legs (quads and hamstrings). This truly total body workout made me realize that I have been neglecting my lower abdomen... and consequently it took quite a while before I got over the tenderness I experienced in this area. Not only am I more balanced, but I feel these functional exercises give me added fitness in practical strength, endurance and speed. As a matter of fact, my running has improved even though I run less than I did before I started this program.
The last big thing I like about this book is that it doesn't require any weights or equipment, even though props such as doors and tables are required for some of the back work. I still do the work out in the gym at the office when I can, but I have a program I can work out with on the road now, too. How practical this will be is still yet to be seen, especially since being on the road and team meals makes it hard to find "me" time. Even if I deviate from the bodyweight aspects of the program and go back to using weights, the methods Lauren incorporates in his book like timed ladders, intervals, supersets, tabatas and stappers will keep my programs regimented and more time conscious in the future.
I guess it is obvious how excited I am about this program by how much I wrote. I haven't seen any big gains in the mirror, but I have lost some weight and I am almost two belt notches slimmer. I really want to finish this 10-week block to at least be able to honestly evaluate the program in my own mind.
In other news, the first Joint Field Activity in Vietnam has already begun. We are only in the advance work phase, albeit, but the fun has started and people will be on the move from now all the way through the summer. Everything is fine now, but when it warms up, I will be complaining about the heat almost as much as this stupid weather we have endured in Hanoi since last November. My goodness, I can't remember the last time Hanoi has suffered this much crappy weather without a break. The only good thing is the wet weather will translate into a much lusher late spring.
One of my favorite ex-bosses is in Hanoi right now. I have to be careful about saying too much because everyone wants to be my favorite... unlike my Dad talking about his three kids, I don't have to say I loved them all the same. And, in all honesty I didn't. This guy, though, had the maturity, calm and life experience to be a great Det Commander and I miss him immensely. But everything changes and adaptation is key. Hopefully things will come full circle and we will hit an apex here in Vietnam again like we enjoyed when he was here. In the meantime, I wait.
I head to Danang on Tuesday and I will be taking my bride with me. Megan is going to Sapa on a class trip so there is no reason for Diep to hang out in Hanoi hating me for my five-star lifestyle. She will hate me the next time I have to leave without her, but we will take this one day at a time.
I have been chastised for not updating my blog lately by more than one person. That motivates me to write, but also scares me a little because it reminds me that people do, in fact, read this thing. In a way, I lose a little literary license when I think about that too much. No one wants to be classified as a moron, lunatic, or just plain meanie... not even me. At the same time, this allows me to blast stuff out to a wide audience and saves me time because I write fewer personal emails.
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